August to October, 2000

Date: October 29, 2000
Journal Start Time: 5:43pm
On IM/ICQ with: Danielle, Denis and Ava
Stuck in my head: I have no idea what it's's a piece i played at school a few years ago...
In the cd/tape player: Parade
Is it on?'s in the other computer
I really should be: figuring out how on earth i'm supposed to do the physics and alg/geo that was assigned last week
quote/fact/thought:"True knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing. And in knowing that you know nothing, that makes you the smartest of all. "
Oh I just can't wait: to be able to play violin again
Today I learned: i am able to begin and complete a group project with the group actually there the afternoon before it's due.
The last show I saw was: Percée (the Baroque opera by Lully)
Updates: nothing...too busy...but i scanned a whole bunch of pictures that should be up eventually
Link: Dr. Ian Stevenson BIRTHMARKS AND BIRTH DEFECTS (i just finished a project on reincarnation...)
Journal End Time: 12:03am

It's been a crazy few week...but that seems to what i'm getting used to. my wrist has been doing stupid things, so playing violin hasn't really been happening lately, and i don't like it! i'm getting it checked out tomorrow, but it's anything like every other reason i've gone to the doctor, she won't know what's wrong. (oo, dinner back later) alright, so it's several hours later...and i've got reading to finish maybe i'll finish updating another day. goodnight

Date: October 17, 2000
Journal Start Time: 11:51pm
On IM/ICQ with: Denis (who's trying to convince me that i'm causing the earth to run straight into the sun), Brian and Ty
Stuck in my head: Mission Impossible (cuz string orchestra is playing it this year!)
In the cd/tape player: Rent nytw workshop
Is it on? nope...but it was half way to school and half way home
I really should be: reading or sleeping
quote/fact/thought: "Music, moody food
                                 of us that trade in love."
Oh I just can't wait: to perform with quartet for the first time this year (tomorrow night!)
Today I learned: that it's possible to spend half your day in and around the music rooms when only 5 minutes of that time is for a class.
The last show I saw was: Streets of Blood (i was supposed to see Grease tonight, but was advised not to)
Updates: still just the updates what page.
Link: Columbia (cuz they sent me their application...and i dont' remmeber asking for it)
Journal End Time: 12:16am

I feel like i have so much to say, but i need to get to sleep soon, so it'll have to wait (and wait and wwait and wait...until i forget what it is cuz there are too many other things for me ot remember). i too the sat's saturday. boy, was it exhausting. i think it went alright though. at least i hope it did. i went straight from there to a 3 hour orchestra rehearsal...and for the first tiem, she kept us in for the full three hours. i has absolutely no energy when i got home. i just sat down and didn't stand up again (well, maybe once or twice). ok, i have ot wake up soon, so i'm going to go...and possibly write here more than once every 10 days or so...but no promises! have good night or day or morning or afternoon or whatever time of day you're reading this if anyone acutally does :)

Date: September 27, 2000
Journal Start Time: 5:28pm
On IM/ICQ with: Denis
Stuck in my head: Barbra Striesand...i think that's a first...
In the cd/tape player: Beauty and the Beast
Is it on? my brother took it out and i haven't put it back no
I really should be: writing my english poetic responce thingy that i've been putting off for a week now
quote/fact/thought: "Opportunity is NOT a lengthy visitor"
--Stephen Sondheim
Oh I just can't wait: til umm...june? aug, nothing good on the horizon these days
Today I learned: that having spares from 10:30 til 2 right before an alg/geo test is a very very good thing
The last show I saw was: Streets of Blood (on sunday...Aida and Forbidden Broadway on saturday)
Updates: i know what i want to do...i just have to do it :)
Link: College Board (the fast and easy way to register for SATs!)
Journal End Time: 5:58pm

well well's been another lengthy while here, hasn't it? these past two weeks have been absolutely crazy. first i was going to new york and then i wasn't and then i was and then i wasn't...and in the end i did :) max and i took the bus down and had an amazing two days away. i got to see a whole bunch of people i hadn't seen in at least two months and we saw three shows (as mentioned above...) and we went to the Broadway Flea market (which was not so exciting...i didn't buy anything again this year...i keep forgetting it's for charity...oops :)) I've got lots of stories about the two days, but they'll take a while to type and i have ot get back to my homework sometime soon.

Last weekend i went down to the music garden with thomas. we had a really wonderful time. he really appreciated it and what it means to me. we just wandered in and out of each movement and then rested on some rocks in the middle of...umm...oh, i forget which one! one fo teh first ones (but we started at the end..) I had brought with my pictures from teh summer so we looked through them for a bit. he concluded that he doesnt think it's a good idea for him to go to nyc cuz he's worried he'll never want to come home...he said that's how all of his friends feel...i told him he has to go anyway, cuz, quite frankly, he (and teh rest of the world who've never been) have to :)

that sunday night i got some pretty awful news so have been trying to get my head around that for a little while now. i'm also dealing with a finger tha'ts doing stupid things that i don't understnad...and i haven't been feeling very, overall, i'm not in the best of shape...but i'm managing. i've been doing a lot of "next-year" thinking and have come up with very little. i'm writing SATs in 2.5 weeks, so i guess that's something. i'm realizing that Barnard is just about my only option in nyc for various reasons. but that's all left me in a very ahhhhhhh mood.

Well, i should get back to my English (and then physics...and then vocal if i have time...englsih and physics and vocal, oh my...blah). Hope school or whatever you're up to these days is going well. take care.

Date: September 14, 2000
Journal Start Time: 11:23pm
On IM/ICQ with: Denis, Brian, Erica
Stuck in my head: the theme they play on tv every time someone's talking about the olympics
In the cd/tape player: Footloose, Fame
Is it on? nope
I really should be: doing alg/geo
quote/fact/thought: In case you thought you had a bad day, here are 6 examples of a really bad day:

1. The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, they were both eaten by a killer whale.

2. A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room to a carpenter in order to nag him constantly and study his reactions. After weeks of needling, he snapped and beat her repeatedly with an ax handle, leaving her mentally retarded.

3. In 1992, Frank Perkins of Los Angeles made an attempt on the world flagpole-sitting record. Suffering from the flu, he came down eight HOURS short of the 400 day record; his sponsor had gone bust, his girlfriend had left him and his phone and electricity had been cut off.

4. A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Until that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.

5. Two animal rights protesters were protesting the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, the pigs, all two thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the two hapless protesters to death.

6. Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.

There, now! Your day's not so bad after all, is it?

Oh I just can't wait: til sept 23rd...and i really hope i don't have to change that like i thought i was going ot have to last night...
Today I learned: that it's fun to be in oac with a group of grade 11s...they really look up to you!
The last show I saw was: Shrew in High Park
Updates: oh, i'll get around to it sometime
Link: Food Network: Recipe - lemon-vanilla angel food cake
Journal End Time: 12:01am

I realize i haven't updated in forever...but, well, stuff happens :) school started, started...and that's about it. my classes are ok, i got pretty lucky with my schedual isn't half bad...aside from teh tiem between 10:20 and 2 when i dont' have class every 4 days but have classes before and after that tiem. i've had very little homework so far, especially for the courses i'm taking. music is doing a lot of taking up of my time, and i'm loving it. it's so nice to have something ot look forward to and to just kind of take me away from everywhere i dont want to be for a while.

Speaking of getting away...this whole me going to new york thing is putting me through WAY too many alternating smiles and tears. until this past weekend i though i was going for sure. then i found out that the friend iw as supposed to go with hadn't asked her parents...and when she did, they said no. that was ok, cuz i knew i coudl take the bus on my own. i ended up randomly and kind of jokingly asking someone else at school...and she said yes...but then assumed her parents woudl pay and when they said they wouldn't, she decided it wasn't worth it for two days...which i completely understand. by this time i'm really thinking that i dont' want to take teh bus on my own, so i figure i'm not going for sure. my one very last resort was to ask i did...and he said yes!'s looking like i'm going to new york city next weekend with max, who will probably be driving..which saves most of the price of a bus ticket (less half the gas money) plus we dont' need to pay for a hotel cuz of my lovely RA, clare :) :) :) if this ends up not working again, i will not be in such a wonderful state...but for now i have something to look forward to (again...)

it's acutally a pretty bad weekend to be going...we're doing a music trip fundraising car wash on the sunday, i have my second orchestra rehearsal (i joined an orchestra this week...rehearsals start this saturday and i'm really excited!) but the b'way flea market only happens once a i could postpone the trip, but then it'd have to be near the end of october cuz of jewish holidays and SATs (which i'm now officially writing...scary!) and at that point i'll have a pile of school work a mile high.

alright, i shoudl go make an attempt to get some form of sleep for the night. i'll try to update again in less than two weeks :)

Date: September 1, 2000
Journal Start Time: 11:17pm
On IM/ICQ with: Shani, Denis
Stuck in my head: "And i don't regret what i did for love. what i did for love." A Chorus Line
In the cd/tape player: Footloose
Is it on? nope...i dont think chorus line woudl be in my head if it was
I really should be: cleaning my room
quote/fact/thought: It was a long time before she would get to sleep. She kept thinking that no one could understand all the things that she understood, and all that was in her.
--Leo Tolsoy, War and Peace
Oh I just can't wait: (i think) til sept 23...just need to get things straightened out first
Today I learned: that shooting moose is fun...especially in downtown toronto
The last show I saw was: Shrew in High Park
Updates: oh, i'll get around to it sometime
Link: Clare's Site
Journal End Time: 11:35pm

I can't believe it's September. this whole summer has felt like a dream. school starts much too soon for my liking. everyone keeps telling me it's just one last year...but all that's goign through my head is "do i really have to get through another year?"

Everyone is heading off to various places all over i just want to let those people know that i will miss them soo much and they'd better keep in touch our i'll come after you :) Lara, i'm glad we were able to spend some time together this past week. i'm so glad our little creation turned out alright...i woudl have felt so bad if it hadn't! Lisa, my cow...i had a great time chasing the moose today. i will miss our little visits (and your pool!) and all of our shared animals ways. Laura...i know we don't usually tlak much, but thank you for letting me say what i need to when we do. you're always so open to let me speak my mind and it really does help. matt, i guess i wont' really notice you've moved, but good luck none the less. and max...your'e staying here, with ha! dont' worry, you won't be left out..tonya and i will use you for your car :) guys, i love you all and it won't be the same back here without you. and to those of you who have no idea who i'm tlaking about...i'm sorry, i'll make an attempt at a real update soon. i just haven't been in the mood lately.


Date: August 28, 2000
Journal Start Time: 1:23am
On IM/ICQ with: Brian, Ava
Stuck in my head: "It's easy as a lie." Aida
In the cd/tape player: nothing
Is it on? well, no...
I really should be: sleeping
quote/fact/thought: "Lucas Walden. Flute." ~me to Tonya...long story :)
Oh I just can't wait: (i think) til sept 23...just need to get things straightened out first
Today I learned: three things. first, you can't separate two pieces of fabric when they are pinned together. Second, a sewing machine really doesn't work when it's not turned on. third, a sewing machine works much better when you clamp down the foot thingy that keep sthe fabric in place...oy, thank you lara :)
The last show I saw was: Shrew in High Park
Updates: oh, i'll get around to it sometime
Link: Talkin' Broadway
Journal End Time: 2:01am

I've got lots to write about, but nothing will make much sense this it will wait :) goodnight

Date: August 20, 2000
Journal Start Time: 11:34pm
On IM/ICQ with: Laura, Brian, Carly
Stuck in my head: "I know the truth and it haunts me..." Aida
In the cd/tape player: Aida downstairs, Parade in my diskman, Into the Woods upstairs
Is it on? nope. i've been listening to the radio today
I really should be: sleeping
quote/fact/thought: Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbour peered over the fence. Interested in what the youngster was up to, he asked in his friendliest way, "What are you up to, Nancy?"
"My goldfish died," replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."
The neighbour commented, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
Nancy patted down the last heap of earth then replied,
"That's because he's inside your fucking cat"
Oh I just can't wait: til...umm...that's a hard one. i HOPE september 24...
Today I learned: that it is possible to be able to see your breath outside in august...ew!
The last show I saw was: Shrew in High Park
Updates: oh, i'll get around to it sometime
Link: The Cowdance
Journal End Time: 11:58pm

Today was the first day in quite a while that i spent more time out of the house than in it. I went down to Harbourfront with my parents to see Ballet on the Water. The National Ballet was doing various performances, open bar classes, rehearsals and warm up demonstrations from friday until today so we decided to stop by and see what was going on. we watched a little bit of an open bar class and then watched a company warm up. they were then supposed to have a rehearsal but it was too cold and there was worry that the dancers woudl hurt themselves. most of the company who was there were corps members, but there were a few first and second soloists. it's interesting how you can tell them apart from the rest without knowing specifically who they are.

Tonight i went to see Shrew with Aislinn. We were to meet at a specific entrance at 7:15. at 7:25 i called her...only to find we had JUST missed eachother (i was probably crossing the street as she pulled in front of me to get into the park). She finally found me, after a lovely u-turn...and we went to find someplace to sit. Aislinn know about half the people tehre! i think i maybe recognized someone who went to my school 3 years ago..but that was as close as i got to knwoing anyone.

the show itself was quite good. they did some role reversal stuff, so kate was male and petrucio (or however you spell it) was female...i loved teh way they tied the new characters into the dialogue and all that. it was all very clever. if you have the chance, run down to high park and see it this's really worth it.

After teh show, aislinn and i took a detour over to the air canada centre to drop off some of the tech guys from teh show cuz they were packing up a concert there. no, we didn't just randomly run into the...aislinn volunteered there earlier in teh summer and became friends with them. everyone seems to think i make friends with random people off the street...i really don't, i promise!

i received a very nice phone call today. thomas called to order me to join him and a bunch of friends for dinner wednesday night. it left me feeling pretty good about myself. i've been feeling kind of empty when dealign with friends lately, mostly because of everyone i had to leave behind when i came home last month. but this reminded me that...well...i'm not really sure of what...but it made me feel special again, and i haven't felt that since arriving back home.

well, i'm off before this train of thought takes a turn for the worse. night

Date: August 20, 2000
Journal Start Time: 12:16am
On IM/ICQ with: Shani, Brian, Dyann
Stuck in my head: "go on go on go on go on..." Parade
In the cd/tape player: Aida downstairs, Parade in my diskman, Lion King upstairs
Is it on? no, acutally. i've had Aida on all day though
I really should be: sleeping
quote/fact/thought: Razors pain you; Rivers are damp; Acids stain you; And drugs cause cramp. Guns aren't lawful; Nooses give; Gas smells awful; You might as well live.
--Dorothy Parker
Oh I just can't wait: for ummm...Shrew in High Park tomorrow night
Today I learned: that my mother has now learned to control her urges to make waiters sing happy birthday to her children in teh middle of crowded restaurants. or maybe it was just cuz it was nearly 2 months late...
The last show I saw was: Obedience
Updates: soon, i promise
Journal End Time: 12:55am's been nearly two weeks since i wrote about anything i've been doing. i acutally did start doing things too. let's see...a week ago friday i babysat again. we went to the AGO (art gallery of ontario) only to find that the kids' area is only open on that part of the day lasted a total of 30 minutes. we then went swimming again for quite a while, and that was that.

I've been doing some visiting with friends. erin was home for 4 days when she wasn't supposed to be so we saw eachother a few times. she's now sailing in kingston, where hse belongs :) i met up with thomas, a friend from music basically everywhere outside fo school, on thursday. we met up on bloor and talked for just over two hours. he was at the music camp i didn't get to go to, so i was interested in hearing what he had to say. he's already got plans to send in my application for next year for me! he told me that prettymuch everyone i wanted to see ther ewas back again...oh, adn that they were short violins. THEY WERE SHORT 6 VIOLINS. aug, i could kill mr hazlet. whatever. i'll get my revenge next year...

i finished all but the last four pages of the book i started reading in december. well, i started and stopped reading it in december and picked it up again about a week ago. i finally remembered why i loved it and now i don't want to finish it. i do have quite a list of books i want to and should read. the english patient and the foundation trilogy are sitting waiting fo rme to pick them up. but i also want to read the books i'll have ot read for school this year so i'm not stuck reading 200 pages a night to keep up with the class. those books are Timothy Findley's Not Wanted On The Voyage and Margaret Atwood's A Handmaid's Tale...oh, and Measure for Measure is the oac dose of shakespeare. I've been told the Atwood book is not one that anybody enjoyed...but the others are alright.

I've been spending a lot of time trying to figure out what i'm going to do about university. i know where i want to go, but also know it is where i won't end up going. problem is, i don't want to go anywhere else...which leaves me with very few options. i'm studying for SATs and stuff...but i don't know if i'm even goign to take them at all. whatever...everone tells me whatever i choose will work out just fine...and the whole world can't be wrong...or can they...

i think i'd better leave that thought alone. goodnight

Date: August 13, 2000
Journal Start Time: 11:59pm
On IM/ICQ with: Shani, Brian, Ty, George
Stuck in my head: least i'm pretty sure ther'es nothing in there...
In the cd/tape player: Into the Woods
Is it on? well, it's in teh cd player upstairs, so i hope it's not on
I really should be: sleeping
With the end of the commercial use of the Morse Code this year, no
sailor will ever again send an "SOS" signal. Those letters, by
the way, stood for nothing. They were chosen because 4 dots, 3
dashes, 4 dots were easy to remember, easy to send, and easy to pick up.

The distress signal "Mayday" also means nothing--in English, that is.
But the French phrase from which it comes, via corruption,
m'aidez, is very meaningful: it means "help me."

Oh I just can't wait: for ummm...The Shrew in High Park at some point
Today I learned: that you know you've had an uneventful day when the big excursion of the day is to the backyard to waste film on the garden
The last show I saw was: Obedience
Updates: soon, i promise
Link: The College Board
Journal End Time: 12:47am

well, it took me over 45 minutes to fill that i think i'll leave it at that for tonight. sweet dreams my friends

Date: August 8, 2000
Journal Start Time: 6:25pm
On IM/ICQ with: Shani, Staci
Stuck in my head: nothing acutally...first time in a long time!
In the cd/tape player: Lion King
Is it on? nope
I really should be: emptying the strainer
quote/fact/thought: "In Germany, they first came for the communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Catholic. Then they came for me -- and by that time there was nobody left to speak up."
--Pastor Marton Niemoller
Oh I just can't wait: for lunch with cow tomorrow
Today I learned: that going to a museum with a 5 year old is quite a challege
The last show I saw was: Aida
Updates: i'm organizing! I got back more pictures and started scanning. They're up here.
Link: Barnard College
Journal End Time: i forget

i already wrote this and then accidentally clicked have to start all over.

so, as i was saying...i've been meaning to update cuz i've been on the computer a lot lately, but i've acutally found something productive to do online! i've been doing some major university and scholarship searching searching. so far i haven't made many discoveries, but it's coming along. i'm considering looking into schools in quebec more so i can keep up my french. plus it's not far from home, but it's not too close. lisa has decided i'm gogin to mount allison...right...cuz i could really go to a shcool smaller than my high school. i've still got a little time...not too much though.

Today i babysat. i babysat for them once last week and they were great. they're 5 and 8, both girls..and they get along really well. we went to the ROM (museum) and had lunch and looked around at nearly everything. then we ended up goign for a quick swim. i'm going abck again on friday. it's a fun way to make money.

I'm going to get back to my school searching. so long

Date: August 3, 2000
Journal Start Time: 11:53am
On IM/ICQ with: Erica
Stuck in my head: "I grew up in your hometown, at least began to grow..." Aida
In the cd/tape player: Aida
Is it on? nope
I really should be: cleaning my room
quote/fact/thought: "If you live to be 100 years old, I want to live to be 100 minus one day, so that I will never have to live a day without you."
--Winnie the Pooh
Oh I just can't wait: next summer...
Today I learned: that you have to acutally do something to learn...which is why i've learned nothign today
The last show I saw was: Aida
Updates: i'm organizing! I got back more pictures yesterday and started scanning. They're up here.
Journal End Time: 12:19pm

I don't relaly have much to say this morning. I've been up for two hours and i'm already tired. that's good, right? oh whatever, i'm on holiday...i can be tired if i please. and if i dont'...but tha'ts besides the point.

Yesterday i went over to mariapia's and we made some extremely yummy brownies and then we talked a whole bunch about random stuff. twas fun. she enjoyed her gift of a pencil (that said NEW YORK CITY all over it and had an apple as an eraser) and keychain (with the nyc cab rates listed).

Two days ago Lindsay came over and we baked vegan chocolate chip oatmeal cookies. let me tell you, it was interesting! we didn't have chocolate chips so used grated vegan chocolate...we made our own egg...but we had fun! and they don't taste half bad either! just a little nutty, probably from the whole wheat flour.

The day before that (i was either sunday or monday..but i think monday) eric called and said she was home and coudl come over in a little bit. this is an unusual thing for erin in teh summer czu she's ALWAYS on a boat sailing somewhere. we went ot starbucks and talked for a while. i drove with her for the first time since she got her g2 (if you really want to knwo what that means, i'll be happy to explain!), which was kind of neat. she's a very good driver :) we decided she'd just start driving adn we'd decide where we wanted to go after. there'sa new second cup right by my school so we were goign to go there but hten there was no where to park so we kept going. somehow we ended up going north on yonge so we stopped and found someplace to park and that was that.

considering i had nothing to write, i wrote quite a bit. and now i'm going into the land of scholarship searching. wish me luck

Date: August 1, 2000
Journal Start Time: 9:31pm
On IM/ICQ with: Cow, Staci, Denis, Lara, erica! pam!
Stuck in my head: I had soemthign stuck in my head but then i read what i had written from last time and now i'm singing that but i don't think it's really stuck in my's just floating around
In the cd/tape player: umm..nothing
Is it on? nope
I really should be: AUG...nothing! someone give me something to do...please!

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high
And you want to smile but you have to sigh,
When care is pression you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he struck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow-
You may succeed with another blow.
Success is failure turned inside out-
The silver tint of the clouds of doubts,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit-
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

Oh I just can't wait: next summer...
Today I learned: borem and sleepiness do no mix well in turtles
The last show I saw was: Aida
Updates: i'm organizing! oh, and i scanned the pictures i have back from last month. You can see them here.
Journal End Time: 10:01pm

I decided to create a new section for a journal of what i did every day in ny. when i'll get around to finishing it is another story...but only time will tell. ok, i'm talking to too many people now so i will go. ta ta